Wednesday, May 11, 2011

AS SEEN ON THE ONION


The Post-College Job Hunt

Members of the class of 2011 are facing an anemic job market as the national unemployment rate hovers around 9 percent. Here are some of the ways graduating seniors are getting a leg up:

* Applying at places they happen to walk by and get a good feeling about
* Getting the phone numbers of the 500 biggest companies in the United States; calling them and screaming, "ARE YOU HIRING?"
* Practicing handshake with boss doll at home
* Packaging resumé with a free iTunes download
* Lurking at Chinese lunch buffet to find out what people with jobs talk about
* Putting up "Josh Needs Work" fliers in their area and expecting support, not laughter, you guys
* Googling "How to get a job"
* Comping extra slice of cheese on sandwich of anyone who looks as if they might be hiring

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